Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother

This memoir about Eastern versus Western parenting strategies has been getting a ton of publicity. The smartest response I've read is over at Buddhafun (and not just because I love Stephanie Han and her writing, though I do.)

Here's a snippet of what Stephanie had to say:

it depends what you want from your kids and how you see the world. Is your priority to make them economically successful and have them achieve social status? Then her methods might not be so bad.

Will it yield children who are good spouses, community oriented, or who might meander down another more unique path in life? Nah. Not necessarily. Depends. Maybe if they meet other ballbusting types who tow the social line of good behavior. Yeah, then it can work out. But let's be frank--Margaret Mead is not born of this stuff, neither actually is someone like Baryshinkov, or hey, let's name him--Einstein. (That said, how many children actually become those types of figures? Not many...) Actually, what is yielded from Chua's method, I hate to say it, but let's be frank--is a kind of bourgeois mediocrity within a certain socioeconomic group. Good schools. Good extracurrics, the right holidays and camps, the right understanding of good wine and an opera. But this does not necessarily yield the kid that stands up for the weaker ones, the person who stands by the environment, votes for his community, and has the guts to do the right thing, simply to do the right thing.

Check out the rest of the blog essay here

On Working and Trying to Make Ends Meet

There's a really thoughtful post on buddhafun.blogspot.com about economic realities for working class American women. The writer, Stephanie Han, begins the piece by reflecting on her year as a stay-at-home-mom (SAHM) and how she and her partner have tried to juggle raising a family with work. She goes on to discuss the real challenges that middle and working class people face in a country like ours that has no nationalized health care or maternity leave plans. As an expat now living near Hong Kong, it's interesting to hear Han's views on how families are supported or not supported in the U.S. and abroad.

Her essay reminded me of a recent interview of Clinton labor secretary Robert Reich where he said that the real problem with our economy is not the damage done by the housing bubble or the illegal and unethical behavior of financiers, it's that wages have remained static for 30 years.

I say hallelujah to his acknowledgment of this ugly truth. Barbara Ehrenreich has been talking and writing about this for a while. People just don't earn enough. Here is my personal testimony:

1992: Earned $33K for an associate attorney position i nDetroit. In 1996, was making around $40K.

1997: Earned $40K as a paralegal in L.A. 1998: Earned $42K as a raise.

2003-2006: Earned around $28K teaching in Phoenix.

2007-2008: Earned around $25K teaching as adjunct faculty at a university.

2008: Interviewed for a contract faculty position at a university and for a specialized staff position at a university. Both jobs paid in mid-$30Ks.

Also in 2008, a friend with a PhD took a position for a tenure-track English Dept. position at a university for a salary of $35K.

I know that I'm not in a high-paying field (teaching/writing). I've also switched professions. I also recognize that I've failed to negotiate higher pay for myself in the past; I've read that many women, like me, low-ball themselves when it comes to salary. However, the facts of my financial history remain. It does not take an economist to see that it's impossible to afford necessities, save money, or have any type of financial freedom if you're making the same salary for seventeen years while the cost of living increased over the same period. Is there still a middle class if most people are over-leveraged? I'd say there's only the working class and the very wealthy.

Go by buddhafun.blogspot.com and reply to the post. Are times just rough for people now or do you see a larger trend?

Perfect Poetry-Part 2

Here's a poem by Stephanie Han that I love. Stephanie has published her work all over; one of her short stories was chosen by Ron Carlson as the winner of a Nimrod fiction contest. She blogs at buddhafun.blogspot.com.

A Garden’s Bones

Bone.
Bones shoot from the earth—
a three-pronged fork.
hard and pale white stumps—
jetties on green sea.
Bones;
a sturdy skeleton buried in tufts of winter grass
hacked and sawed by the woman upstairs—
one less to water, feed or tend;
a Death
a Blessing.
A curious sculpture these bones
kicked by a tiny boy
ringed by dirt and dried feces
for the gods to chew
for the winds to gnaw
a brittle snap
a slow decay.
Bones are phantoms spit from the glory of summer’s bush.
At night my son cries: shadows, ghosts.
Does he mean these bones?
Weeks pass
nubs give way to stems and curved leaves
Feel the baby’s temple, the barely-hard skull
damp with the terror of light.